RESOURCES

By BEATRICE BOLES

The very first time I crossed the threshold of FCM was on a Thursday evening for Extended Meditation. That was over three years ago, and I continue to be a “frequent flyer.”  Extended Meditation, with or without an optional private interview with our teacher Fred, is one of the most precious to me of FCM’s many activities. 

If I’m going to have a deep meditation at all during the week, it is likely to be here. Structure, silence, and the support of the teacher and the group give me the self-discipline I need to make my best effort.  For me, it’s a mini-retreat.  

As the saying goes, “Structure provides the container that holds the practice.”  Two senior students generously facilitate to ensure that the evening runs smoothly. Time is controlled by bells, whose sonorous tones announce the start and end of seated and walking meditation periods.  And for those members who choose to opt in, on some evenings the noise of a tinkling bell carries the invitation for a teacher interview.  

Other than the bells, there is near-perfect silence. I love it that there’s no talking at all in the Meditation Hall during the two hours (except for a few short instructions from the bell master and a dedication of merit at the end).  Once I’ve entered the hall, I’m committed. So I just relax, rest my mind, and resolve to go deeper.  

If sometimes the length of the two 40-minute seated periods seems challenging, and if tension or pain arises in my body, I’ve learned that it’s best to just observe the sensations -- and they will transform.  There are no outside distractions, nothing to think about or plan, and no words to formulate.  As the sun sets, the light in the room silently changes.  

All I have to do is sit, walk, and sit again.  Bow.  And leave, carrying the silence home.

On many evenings, after about 20 minutes, members are given the chance for an interview with Fred. (It’s completely optional.) For those of us who are reticent, it can be challenging to take the plunge when interview time is announced and to stand up to take a seat in the interview line. Once we’ve broken the ice and done it a few times, we develop more of a relationship with the teacher -- so it gets easier. 

At the sound of the teacher’s summoning bell, when it’s my turn, I walk downstairs.  Following the traditional formality of “dokusan,” I bow at the door of the little room, enter, close the door, and take a seat. Then we talk till he signals the end of the interview.  He and I bow, he rings his small bell, and then I exit with a bow at the door. Returning to my seat upstairs, I usually feel lighter.  

I find Fred very easy to talk to.  He seems patiently accepting of wherever we are on our developmental path, even as he stirs us on and offers his great insight and encouragement.

My ideas about life sometimes differ from his, and when I’ve been confrontive, he’s handled my challenges cheerfully and respectfully.  With Fred’s coaching I’m learning to release my grip on concepts and ideas, and this has been freeing.

Overall, these interviews have helped me to deepen my practice and become a better human being. Extended Meditation is an ongoing, rich opportunity on Thursday nights.  I’m grateful for my mini-retreat.   

A bow of gratitude to Beatrice Boles, Tampa Sangha member, for this thoughtful article.

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By MARILYN WARLICK

Through the years with the FCM community, I have seen my relationship with selfless service develop as my meditation practice develops.  

While from the outside, the “to do” lists appear the same, over the years the very same tasks have grown into a flowering of joyful efforts and from heartfelt gratitude now comes a desire to give. 

Now this may seem a superficial statement.

How can computer work from home or making the drive to the meditation center for meetings, or selfless service on work days grow into flowers of joyful efforts?  I find mindful experiences offer a cumulative effect of touching my practice and life deeply. 

FCM selfless service, for me, began upon my arrival in Tampa from North Carolina in 2012 to help clean and remodel our newly purchased practice center. I had practiced with FCM for many years through distance membership and brief retreats. Now Sam and I were living on the grounds with the community 24/7! 

Helping with this new beginning was exciting; however, I was also seeing familiar mental afflictions of “fitting in,” “getting it right,” or “seeming competent.” The second arrow, “but this is a mindfulness community, so I should not be having these afflictions rise?!” of course added to the energy of the doubts and anxious thoughts.  

Developing a mindfulness practice within a community made a big difference for my life. This community of brothers and sisters were all aspiring to cultivate mindfulness energies and use practices such as working gathas and mindful breathing to nourish wellbeing for all of us, including myself. The joy that also arose in these first days and months was quite amazing. 

So this mixture of joy and suffering in these early months was interesting, and I wanted to learn more.  

For example, as I began to learn to invite the bell, I saw familiar afflictions rise -- my desire to be seen as competent and appreciated.  But this time, this effort to learn a new skill was in the light of mindfulness and of a community supporting awareness. As a result, increasingly these afflictions were actually seen as “friends rising.” I could gaze with mindfulness and come to know these afflictions. In sharing our experiences as brothers and sisters, I could gaze in a much more friendly light of mindfulness upon these familiar companions in life.

As we all gave time and energies to cleaning, helping with various events at the new center, I had the opportunity to further learn. With any task, stopping, relaxing and calming were key, whether it was inviting the bell, or picking up trash left by the homeless neighbor who slept on the grounds last night. Mental afflictions arose and increasingly dissolved. 

In the light of mindfulness, these afflictions while seemingly small or petty, actually had been a source of a great deal of suffering over the years.  Now, in a mindfulness community, I could see the risings and learn to sit with and let go of these afflictions around work, acceptance of others, or self-criticisms.  

As afflictions lost their energy, a rising of gratitude became present and generosity in giving service was energized. I could more clearly see and reflect upon the subtle mental chatter as the years rolled by. This was the chatter that, for decades, I had followed in my work, my relationships, my private time, this non-stop mental chatter.

Selfless service has helped me learn to be in the moment. The work gathas remind me to come back to just this moment.  The brothers and sisters I spend time with enliven my heart and mind with joy as we share an intention to bring peace to ourselves and peace into our world. This common intention is like fuel in the body-mind to energize actions, try something new, make time in my life for one more task.  

Earlier in life, taking on tasks would mean becoming so busy in the doing I would forget what I was doing or where I was. Now, selfless service is a welcome opportunity to come back to my breath and practice remembering what I am doing and where I am. I am in the present moment, a beautiful moment. 

Marilyn Warlick is a member of the Tampa sangha, a retired mental health professional, founder of FCM's Death Cafe, and leads various workshops for FCM.

By DONA MENZ

Our teacher, Fred, spoke to a full house at Asheville Insight Meditation on the Sunday following our retreat at Southern Dharma in June. With little publicity, he drew a crowd of around 40 practitioners and those curious about the practice.

I invited friends and family after our sangha brother and OI mentor, Ken Lenington, let me know Fred would be speaking. 

I am always curious to see people’s first impression of Fred. There is something pure and direct that happens, much like the Dharma itself.

When Fred discovered that his topic for the talk had not been publicized, he did what he does so well and invited the group to ask questions about their practice.

The first man wore a t-shirt with the name of the sangha and was clearly a dedicated practitioner. Fred spent a few minutes, maybe not more than five, and helped the man turn, look at his awareness and rest there. The man was clearly moved and had the experience, right there and then and … while I certainly cannot speak for him, it felt as though he shifted, that his practice had changed, his experience had changed. I felt my breath catch and my heart open.

I believe we have all witnessed this in one way or another when Fred works with someone in a group. But for some reason it hit me anew how vital and important this work is – for all of us – and how fortunate we are to have a realized teacher to so beautifully guide us on the path.

Questions followed and Fred did what he does so well -- answered with clarity and wisdom and no hint of indulgence. My friend chuckled after one exchange and leaned over to whisper, "I like him, he doesn’t take any crap."  I laughed and nodded and felt a curiosity about my teacher, how he teaches like this is his last day or ours, like his hair is on fire, hoping you will have realization, so kindly stopping us in our immersion in obscurations and snapping his fingers with his words: wake up!

After the talk, other friends commented how much they had enjoyed it and friends who couldn’t make it asked when he would return. There is such a beautiful desire for the Dharma, but especially on this level.  I have never met a teacher like Fred and I could sense from the room that many shared in this knowing.

But it was my brother whom I was most curious about. He and my sister-in-law, Carlan, our sangha member from Greenville, SC, attended. My brother is curious about many things but has never been drawn to practice. Afterwards, he said he had enjoyed it very much and commented that he liked that Fred didn’t give anyone the answer but let them find their own. Such a beautiful way to describe Fred’s wise style of sharing the Dharma. I join all of you who are in deep gratitude for our teacher Fred.

Dona Menz is a psychotherapist in Asheville and Hendersonville, NC, who works with clients suffering from trauma, depression, anxiety and addiction.  She follows a spiritual perspective using mindfulness and meditation. She is in FCM's Dharma Transmission Program.

At each site, Shantum will tell stories of the Buddha’s life and give teachings to help us understand the Buddha as a human being, the drama of his life and the significance of what he taught.  There will be time for daily sitting and walking meditation, regular discussions and contemplative time.  The creation of a traveling sangha will be an important aspect of this trip, giving the journey a greater cohesiveness and building support for those seeking to deepen their practice.

The tour maximum is 35 participants, and the cost is $5,950, without air fare. The website (http://www.buddhapath.com/Saal.html) has detailed information.

Shantum, an ordained dharma teacher in the Zen Buddhist lineage of Thich Nhat Hanh, is the foremost expert on sites associated with the Buddha and has been leading pilgrimages since 1988. He has co-authored books such as Walking with the Buddha and been a consultant for films like BBC-Discovery’s Life of the Buddha and BBC-PBS’s The Story of India. 

Don't Wait to Begin Preparations for This Summer's Hurricane Season

By EVELYN HASEMAN

The “storms of life” bring us life-changing events such as serious illness, physical injury, death of a loved one, the joy of birth, divorce, hurricanes and tornados -- only a few of the many events that may impact our lives. 

The sangha offers us support with its collective energy of mindfulness, compassion and lovingkindness. Whenever we find ourselves in a difficult situation, our sangha friends are there for us. Community involvement and caring are components of our compassionate sangha culture. 

Hurricane season can bring one of those “storms of life.” June is the start of hurrica

ne season. We hope all of our FCM Sangha practitioners will be prepared with a plan in place. 

Determining where to go if a severe storm approaches is an important part of a plan. After exploring the requirements of sheltering with the Red Cross, we determined that our Practice Center (as with most facilities other than certain public schools built to a very specific code standard) does not qualify as a shelter.  Since we will not be able to offer shelter to our members, this is the time to decide if you will stay home, stay with relatives or friends, or go to a hotel or a public shelter.  

Most of us are familiar with a storm preparation list, but it is easy to get caught off guard and find ourselves looking for supplies when shelves are empty. You can ease your mind by preparing ahead of time. In addition to a place to go, you will need food, water, lanterns, batteries, medicines and other necessities listed on the national hurricane link, http://www.nws.noaa.gov/om/hurricane/plan.shtml. 
We recommend that you check the link now.

The beginning of hurricane season reminds us to think of others and how to offer assistance. When we find ourselves in a difficult situation, sangha friends can help us stay in the present moment. We can offer support by being present for each other. Whether it is a hurricane, tornado, or any kind of physical or mental suffering, we can offer our lovingkindness, compassion and mindfulness. 

Evelyn Haseman, Sangha Welfare Lead and Tampa Sangha member, facilitates support of FCM members experiencing life-changing events.  She can be reached at sangha-care-leader@floridamindfulness.org.

By ANDA PETERSON

Work with what you are.

If you are a fawn

at dusk

you will

stand still as wood

in a field of tall green grass

at the edge of a  forest

your dark eyes wide open

watching sparrows

flit and fly home 

through the twilight.

If you are a fawn

your soft brown ears

upright will catch sounds

of wind through the pines.

If you are a field mouse

you will

scurry, slipping between

wildflowers 

fawn hooves.

If you are a human

you will

see the fawn, the pines, the wildflowers

feel your breath as wind,

how your heart beats as

bird, mouse, fawn

then and only then

your tender work

is done.

By GABBY BETAGGLIO

Gabby Betagglio and Gerry Stinnett vacuum meditation cushions at a recent Selfless Service work day.

I wanted to be more involved in my Wake Up community, so when Bryan Hindert approached me about leading the Selfless Service aspect of Wake Up in the hopes of getting more people involved in doing altruistic work, I accepted his invitation. 

On my end, I was motivated by the thought of being more involved in a community that I was growing to love and to become attached to. In other words, it felt a bit selfish -- rather than selfless -- for me at the time. Since then, I have learned that these feelings are normal. Altruism, selfless service, the act of giving is something that can be cultivated. Props to Bryan for that lesson. 

Just because the motivation initially isn’t “I want to be of service to others” does not mean that it cannot eventually become that. So long as our intention is to be more altruistic, more grateful, more geared towards thinking of others rather than ourselves, practicing at events such as the work morning will cultivate that virtue inside of us. At least, that is what I have noticed for myself. 

At first glance, I can’t say that I am ecstatic about thinking about others before myself. This is because I have personal goals, I am constantly feeling like there isn’t enough time to do what I want and the thought of giving my time on a Saturday morning definitely clashes with a lot of my motivations. But if I think about it…thinking about myself too much causes me suffering. It really does. 

Of course, goals are important and I will continue to work towards reaching them. However, I have found that these work mornings help grow an essential quality that I wish for myself…an altruistic quality that will, among many other things, benefit my mind and nourish my life. 

To talk a bit about the actual time spent at the selfless service mornings…let’s just say there is a curve. During the morning meditation and group powwow to decide the day’s jobs, I feel peaceful and grateful to be there, healthy, on a Saturday morning. 

Then the work begins. It begins, and so does my mind. Thoughts about what else I could be doing pop up. Sometimes even anger! “Why am I here? I need ‘me’ time after the long week I had at work! This isn’t fair!” All sorts of thoughts… “I should be cleaning my own house. I should be doing the thing that I have been avoiding for months anyway…”  All of this comes up as if on cue when the work begins. 

I don’t have much to say about it except that the reality is that these work mornings last three hours and no more…and really, there is much more to be gained than there is to complain about. 

So, I will say a bit about how, again, Bryan, suggested I deal with this yuckiness. 

One way is by shifting my perception. Instead of hanging out in anxiety-world as described above, I, we, can think about how much others will benefit from the work that we are doing. How people will come to the beautiful center, beautiful in part because of our work, and maybe even transform their lives. 

Another way is to shift the mind toward gratefulness. “I am so grateful to be here with my community. Not everyone has a loving community such as this. I am working, and so is everyone else around me. They care for me and want peace and happiness for me just as for themselves.” 

So those are strategies that I have recently learned and I am looking forward to using at the next work morning I attend. 

Going back to the curve, after the work finishes we have our closing circle.  That is where all the gratefulness and bliss sets in. I truly enjoy this time, sharing about my experience with everyone else while sipping tea and enjoying some healthy snacks. 

Here is where it’s obvious to see that we are not just working…we are doing much more that is of huge benefit to ourselves. The altruistic act of doing service is of benefit to ourselves. Just had to reiterate that, in case you, like me, need the reassurance. :) 

Thanks to Wake Up member Gabby Betagglio for this thoughtful article!

Seeing the Knot as One Thread at a Time Was Helpful

By ELLEN OBERLIN

From the moment I signed up for the Untying Anger workshop I was thrust into awareness of anger arising.

I was feeling smug about having enrolled myself and my husband, David, in the workshop, thinking I was finally going to get a handle on the anger thing. 

That feeling didn’t last long as I quickly received an email detailing the homework. Homework, my mind reacted?  I felt exhausted just from confronting the issue enough to have signed up for the workshop!

I thought I wouldn't have enough data in the log we were asked to do regarding our anger since it was only two days until the workshop.

Not so, I was surprised at the multitude of opportunities I had to log my annoyance, irritation, frustration and plain anger in so short a time even over insignificant things. It seemed I was on the anger spectrum for long stretches of time. That alone was a big wakeup call.  

I had known this was true, but seeing it in black and white on the log made it undeniable. I could no longer pretend.  

I had managed to not entirely coerce my husband into doing the workshop with me by asking that it be considered my birthday celebration. What better way to have a lasting positive effect on our lives than to gain a framework we could work with together?  He agreed although I didn’t think he would join me since he is not an FCM member.

Once we got to the workshop I felt ill at ease because David was there with me. I noticed worry arising about how his experience would be. Noticing it, I was able to let go because I knew from past experience that I would later find myself having missed the workshop if I didn’t let go.   

Betsy Arizu and Bill MacMillen, the facilitators, were great oceans of calm for me.  They had us work in experiential exercises with someone we didn’t come with at first. What a relief to me, since David and I had been dealing with anger arising, often unskillfully, for over 30 years. We didn’t have to jump right into the deep end.  

The course, designed by Angie Parrish, was well thought out and proceeded methodically to look calmly at the issue of anger.  I wanted to jump right in to “what to do,” so I had the opportunity to practice patience, a vital skill for dealing with anger, from the beginning of the workshop.  

I also felt great support from the other attendees in the workshop. They looked normal, not someone you’d think had an “anger problem,” and I felt my heart opening to our collective courage to confront this challenge head on.  Most spoke quite frankly about the pain they’d suffered surrounding their experiences of anger.  

One thing I won’t forget about this workshop is the slide Betsy showed with a knot of threads enlarged to show that there were distinct threads within. 

That knot is how anger felt in my heart; it really resonated with my experience.  

So, I could relax and trust that this path had a way to sort out the strands and untangle my feelings successfully.  

I won’t attempt a summary but will end instead by expressing my deep gratitude to the entire Sangha for their contribution to me and my husband as we work to engage more skillfully with each other and the world.

Thanks to Ellen Oberlin for sharing her experience in this important workshop!