By BILL Mac MILLEN

I recently attended Fred’s in-person offering of four “pop-up” teachings on the Heart Sutra, one of the most widely read and beloved of the Buddhist sutras, and one we regularly chant at FCM during Sunday Sangha. As one of Fred’s senior students, and an FCM Dharma Instructor, the series was especially meaningful for me in a variety of ways.  

First, I deeply appreciated the opportunity to be physically present in the Meditation Hall with a realized teacher who is also my teacher, to hear Fred’s insights and wisdom firsthand just like Shariputra got to listen to Avolokita in the sutra.

Aware of all the consistent effort and sacrifices Fred has made over his life to come to realization—not just to study these deep teachings intellectually, but also to embody them in daily life and tirelessly transmit them to anyone with an interest—I found all four pop-ups tremendously inspiring. Simply listening to Fred transmit the Heart Sutra encourages me to keep deepening my own realization.

And I’m not new to the Heart Sutra. I’ve been chanting it for 12 years, have heard many teachings on emptiness (the primary focus of this sutra), read many books and commentaries on the sutra and emptiness, and done my own reflections and meditations on the subject. But Fred’s teaching is so personal, so down-to-earth, filled with clarifying examples (like asking if “wetness” is separate from water) and clear, that I was able to hear his transmission with a degree of freshness that allowed new insights and understandings to arise. 

For example, I already knew the history of the sutra and was aware of ongoing academic interest in debating its origin. But listening to Fred, my own preoccupation with the source of the sutra’s words disappeared behind the thought, “What does it matter?” If a proven cure for a disease afflicting me were found, would I decline to take the medicine until I knew the source of that cure, and all the details around how and when the cure had been developed?

This thought inspired me to recognize the opportunity before me to let go of distractions and simply “take the cure” for suffering that the Heart Sutra offers. It also energized a renewed sense of urgency within me to do so, to wake up to the cure now. This urgency arose in connection with my ongoing appreciation of the truth of impermanence—specifically in relationship to this aging body and its daily reminders that my journey here is time limited, that there’s literally “no time to lose.”

I’ve long found the application of Buddhist teachings on emptiness both invigorating and challenging. Still the question remained, “How can I apply the teachings in practical ways to end my own suffering and benefit others?” Hearing Fred’s explanations and insights over the four weeks of pop-up teachings on the Heart Sutra deepened my understanding of both the truth of emptiness and the implications of that truth for my own practice. It re-energized my ongoing aspiration to wake up.  

Finally, I found listening to the chanting of the gatha at the end of the sutra profoundly moving. Many voices joined the solo leader in chanting with increasing energy:   “Gate, gate, paragate, parasamgate, bodhi svaha” (“Gone, gone, gone beyond, gone to the other shore, awake, rejoice”). I saw Fred’s smile as we listened to the chanting, and heard again his tireless encouragement that awakening to the nature of my mind (reaching ‘the other shore’) is entirely possible for all humans, including me. 

I left the final pop-up with a renewed sense of faith in the teachings, my teacher, and my own ability to realize the teachings. The seeming conundrum of how to both live a worldly life and enhance the experience by realizing the truth of emptiness now seems much more “doable.”

Walking away after the final night’s talk, I felt a deep sense of gratitude for the teachings, my teacher Fred, and our FCM community.

Bill Mac Millen has been a student of Fred and a member of FCM since 2013. Currently, he is the Center Care Leader shepherding maintenance and beautification of our grounds and facilities and a regular contributor in leading workshops and retreats.