By DON SIZEMORE

For the past year, I have been a part of “The Path of the Enlightened Being” intensive at FCM. With Fred’s guidance through the Shantideva text, The Way of the Bodhisattva, along with the sharing of other members in my group, my practice has strengthened and grown in ways I never realized possible.

This summer I had ankle surgery and was immobilized for six weeks.   Being a very active person I was concerned about becoming restless. As a teacher with summers off, my time is usually spent gardening, working on home renovations or making pottery. I decided to use my new idle time as a sort of morning retreat. Each morning I sat on my screened  

porch overlooking my garden and pond to meditate, read and reflect on the teachings of Shantideva.

Click on grackle image to view video

The summer part of the intensive was geared towards creating a personal plan of how to integrate the teachings of the first two sessions into our daily lives. I concentrated on acknowledging and clearing the “tinder” in my mind that gets ignited all too easily and provides fuel to minor annoyances throughout the day -- like bad drivers and difficult people I encounter. Rather than reacting quickly I would learn to train my mind to look deeper into the situations that frustrate me and try to better understand the situations and not be so quick to judge.

As the weeks went by I was making noticeable progress. Perhaps my inner gatekeeper was becoming more diligent at clearing the tinder and better dealing with these situations. Or, perhaps being removed from my day to day routine made it easier to pause and reflect.

Knowing how much I love to watch the birds in the garden, my family bought me a bird feeder camera for Father’s Day in hopes that it would help occupy some of my time. I spent many hours post surgery immersed in the up-close videos that were sent to my phone throughout the day, entertained by the adult and fledgling birds making their way to the feeder. The cardinals, wrens, titmouse, brown thrashers, house sparrows and blue jays brought me peace and soothed my restlessness. Until, one day a new bird arrived at the feeder: a grackle.

It quickly became apparent that grackles aren’t the most peaceful birds to watch. They’re noisy, abrupt, and throw seed everywhere! And this particular female spent the day lying directly in the bird seed making it impossible for the others to feed. The video feeder has a speaker on it that I can talk into from my phone.

So after a few days of this grackle interrupting my perfect summer feeder experience I started roaring into my phone in hopes of maybe scaring it away. “ROAR! GET OUT! AHHH!" It wouldn’t budge.

After a few days of this, one morning while meditating my inner gatekeeper turned to me and very bluntly said, “What are you doing? This grackle is the tinder you so quickly ignite. Look closer and try to better understand her.”

So I went back to the feeder videos, sorted through all the clips of her and finally noticed a key element in the story: She was missing a foot. She was lying in the seed because she couldn’t stand on the perch. My frustration had pushed my compassion aside. I immediately felt terrible because of it. She was the driver speeding recklessly past me whom I quickly judged. She was me, hobbling around on crutches unable to carry my own food to the table. She was all of us, unable to articulate a proper cry for help and simply needing a little understanding from the world.

I’m happy to say that after a few more days the grackle was able to begin balancing on the feeder perch and other birds would come feed beside her. I’m also happy to say that through the teachings of Shantideva and the guidance of Fred and the FCM sangha I am able to take lessons like these and use them to strengthen my bodhicitta, hopefully making the world a better place…..one bird at a time.

Don Sizemore has been teaching ceramics and pottery in Hillsborough County Public Schools for 26 years. He has been married to his amazing wife, Erin, for 27 years and together they have two sons, 16 and 20. He wandered into FCM two years ago to learn qigong with David Braasch which led to Sunday morning meditation and then on to numerous intensives along with the formation of a daily practice.