Every Tuesday morning, Wi Piyasawat drops her husband, John McHarris off in Fort Myers so he can catch the bus to Tampa.
Every Friday evening, their
close friend, neighbor and FCM member Lindsey McCaskey picks him up and takes him home.
John is living an ordinary life in Naples half a week and a life of service in Tampa the other half, an arrangement blessed by a supportive marriage
and the Dharma.
John, co-leader and community care leader of the Naples FCM Sangha, is at present the only participant in the selfless service residency program at the Tampa FCM campus. Since September 1, he has been living three nights a week in the newly opened Great Cloud Refuge in Tampa while he helps to support the sangha at its headquarters, performing service ranging from pulling weeds to providing kitchen help for retreats.
Theirs is a FCM family. In addition to his leadership role in Naples, John and Wi regularly attend Tampa Sangha via Zoom, and their son Max recently completed an eight month in-person residency program in Tampa.
John chatted with Mindfulness Matters about his service in Tampa.
MM: How did your decision to live and serve part-time with FCM in Tampa come about?
John: I wanted to serve more, and I wanted to be closer to my teacher. I think Fred perceptively sensed this, and watered those seeds. The OI (Order of Interbeing) was also emphasizing selfless service. I knew that residing in Tampa part-time would strengthen existing friendships and make new ones possible. I was becoming increasingly aware that my tendency to be "happy as a pea in a pod" spending time with myself was limiting my development and opportunity to make a change for the better. Lastly, I had long been observing a small number of members generously provide a disproportionate share of community service, and that didn't sit well.
I was fortunate because of my personal situation. I had retired early and was active in caretaking Mom, but when she passed away last year, that opened up free time. And especially support from Wi, my wife. I feel so fortunate. I was thinking about it, reflecting about it for a while, not sure I would have her support, so when we talked about it, and she said she would support it, that was really big. Not every partner or spouse would support it.
Also, our son, Max, did a residency program from late 2020 to August 2021 and I had heard him talking about what it was like. He did a lot of selfless service. He was developing friendships and becoming more integrated with the community, and that piqued my interest.
So I started asking myself, what really are the constraints? Is it really the distance and the drive time (2.5 hours from Naples to Tampa)? It's not that far. I found a bus service that was convenient, comfortable, and affordable. I immerse myself in reading and listening to the Dharma while on the bus. The bottom line is I can be very integrated both with the Naples and Tampa communities. I think I also began to realize that the "constraints" were self-constructed as opposed to real.
MM: What does one do in the FCM residency program?
John: There are four areas where selfless service work is needed – gardening, grounds, housekeeping and kitchen – and I have performed work in all of them. Sometimes, I’ll dust or sweep, sometimes pull weeds, and I assisted in the kitchen during a retreat in September.
Today, I was on a ladder pulling ivy away from the retreat center walls and gently placing it on a trellis so it wouldn’t damage the walls. The strands of ivy are very intertwined and tangled, similar to my mind at times. Untangling is good practice.
MM: How does your residency and work integrate with your practice?
John: When I pull weeds, I think about the weeds in my mind, how deep-rooted they are. It’s important to pull them gently from the base. When I'm cleaning a room I also remember the practices related to cleaning my bowl (mind), which definitely needs tending to.
When I’m working with others, there are good opportunities to practice deep listening and right speech and things that make for good relationships. I walk down to Publix for groceries and eat a lot of salads. When I chop carrots in the kitchen for my dinner, I just chop carrots.
Staying in Great Cloud is like being on a retreat. I’m sleeping in a small room. It’s small and minimalist, but I have everything I need. When I’m home in Naples, it’s a much bigger living space, but there are distractions, like TV. Here the whole campus is built for practice. There are fewer distractions. Minimalism is good. It helps me remember how little I need. It feels lighter.
MM: What advice do you have for others who may be considering doing something similar?
John: Do it, if your situation allows! Everybody has other commitments. The advice I would give is ask yourself, Are the constraints that you think you might have hard and fixed, totally non-negotiable, or just challenges? Sometimes we can fool ourselves into thinking that certain barriers are bigger than they are. I urge everybody to do whatever you can, whether Saturday selfless service days, or coming up for a couple of days. You’ll be nourished by the environment. It’s very unlikely that somebody would come away disappointed by this experience.
MM: How long will you continue this arrangement?
John: It’s indefinite. Until they kick me out!
In addition to his other responsibilities, John McHarris also is secretary of the FCM Board of Directors, a member of the current three-year Dharma Transmission Program, an OI aspirant, and has led several Dharma-related programs for FCM.
